Routines are often seen as a double-edged sword for neurodivergent individuals. On one hand, they provide stability and reduce decision fatigue. On the other, traditional routines can feel restrictive, overwhelming, or impossible to maintain. The key is to build a flexible structure that works with your brain, not against it.
In this chapter, we will explore:
✅ Why rigid routines fail neurodivergent people
✅ The power of Adaptive Routines and Anchor Points
✅ How to create a sustainable rhythm rather than a strict schedule
✅ Tools and strategies to make routines dopamine-friendly
7.1 Why Traditional Routines Fail Neurodivergent People
Many self-help books and planners promote fixed routines, where you wake up at 6 AM, exercise at 7 AM, and follow a perfectly structured day. But if you’re neurodivergent, you’ve likely experienced:
🧠 Time Blindness – Forgetting what time it is and struggling with time estimation
⚡ Inconsistent Energy – Some days you’re hyperproductive, other days exhausted
🚧 Executive Dysfunction – Knowing what to do but feeling stuck trying to start
⏳ All-or-Nothing Thinking – If you miss one part of your routine, it feels ruined
Instead of trying to force a neurotypical structure, we need Adaptive Routines that offer stability without rigidity.
7.2 The Power of Anchor Points Instead of Fixed Routines
Instead of planning exact times for everything, you can create a flexible structure based on Anchor Points—key activities that help orient your day without being tied to a rigid clock.
🔗 What is an Anchor Point?
An Anchor Point is a habitual activity that provides stability but allows for flexibility in timing. Examples:
✅ Morning Anchor: Drinking tea/coffee while planning your tasks
✅ Midday Anchor: A short movement break or a check-in with your body
✅ Evening Anchor: A wind-down ritual (reading, journaling, listening to music)
Unlike rigid schedules, Anchor Points stay the same, but the timing can shift depending on your energy levels and external demands.
📝 Exercise: Define Your Anchor Points
Think about the most important, grounding activities in your day.
• What helps you wake up?
• What helps you transition into work or focus mode?
• What helps you relax before bed?
• What makes your day feel complete?
Write down 3-5 Anchor Points that could structure your day without being restrictive.
7.3 Creating a Dopamine-Friendly Routine
For neurodivergent people, motivation is dopamine-driven—meaning routines need to be engaging and rewarding. Here’s how:
🎯 1. Habit Pairing (The Dopamine Boost)
Pair something fun and rewarding with a habit you struggle with.
• 🚿 Hate showering? Listen to a favorite playlist or podcast.
• ✍️ Struggle with planning your day? Use colorful pens or sticky notes.
• 🏃 Hard to exercise? Make it social (body doubling, online groups).
🔄 2. The 80/20 Rule – Prioritize Key Habits
Instead of trying to do everything perfectly, focus on the 20% of habits that create 80% of your success.
• Example: If morning routines feel overwhelming, simplify to just one thing (drinking water, stretching, or reviewing your day).
📅 3. Build in Recovery Time
Neurodivergent people often overestimate how much they can do in a day. Instead of stacking too many habits, build in Buffer Time for:
✔ Rest
✔ Spontaneity
✔ Mental resets
This prevents burnout from over-planning.
7.4 Designing Your Personal Adaptive Routine
Now that you understand Anchor Points and dopamine-friendly strategies, let’s put it together.
📝 Exercise: Create Your Adaptive Routine
1️⃣ List 3-5 Anchor Points
2️⃣ Choose 1-2 habits per Anchor Point
3️⃣ Pair difficult habits with dopamine rewards
4️⃣ Leave Buffer Time for flexibility
Example of an Adaptive Routine:
☀ Morning Anchor: Drink coffee + plan the day (use colorful sticky notes)
📖 Midday Anchor: Stretching + listen to music (dopamine boost)
🌙 Evening Anchor: Journaling or watching a show (transition to rest mode)
This routine adapts to energy levels while still providing structure.
7.5 Summary: How to Make Routines Work for You
✔ Rigid routines don’t work for neurodivergent people—flexible Anchor Points do
✔ Pair dopamine-friendly rewards with difficult tasks
✔ Keep only the most important habits to avoid overwhelm
✔ Buffer Time allows for adjustments when things don’t go as planned
Your routine should feel like a rhythm, not a rigid schedule.
🚀 Next Chapter: We will explore how to maintain routines long-term without losing motivation!